Love and marriage in Great Expectations

Great Expectations shows the development of a single character, Philip Pirrip, better known to himself and to the world as Pip. In this novel, we see Pip narrating the story- his world, the people around him and how they changed and grew. Love and Marriage is one of the important themes of this novel. Love and marriage is a recurring theme in Great Expectations. Throughout the novel, we see several characters fall in love and get married but the effect of love and marriage was different for each of them.

First, let us look at love and marriage in Pip’s life. Pip is the central character of this novel. He fell in love with Estella but Estella never respected him. Estella may be beautiful, but she was very cold and cruel. She froze the hearts of everyone around her—including her adopted mother, Miss Havisham. She was “proud and refined” as an adult, and “beautiful and self-possessed” as a child", and for some reason Pip fell desperately in love with her, even though she was very rude towards him. In this novel, we see that in their first meeting, Estella told Pip that he had “coarse hands” and “thick boots”. Despite her rude behavior, Pip loved her with all his heart and pursued tirelessly for her love. Pip said, “I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be” (Charles Dickens 263).

It was Estella who sowed the seeds of ambition in Pip’s heart. The only reason behind Pip’s desire to become a gentleman was to get Estella’s hand. Pip did not like the place where he lived. He felt embarrassed about Joe and his poverty. It is clear to us that Pip felt inferiority complex for his position in the society. He felt that Estella did not like her only for her poor social position. That is why, throughout the novel, we can see that Pip wants to be a man of means so that he can marry Estella.

This meaningless love did not bring any happiness in Pip’s life but made him more miserable. In his quest to gain higher social status, he ignored and distanced himself from the people who mattered most in his life. In this regard, we can say that Pip’s one-sided, selfish love for Estella became the ultimate cause of his downfall. Pip aided by Abel Magwitch got the opportunity to go to London and fulfill his dream, but he failed to use this opportunity. In order to become a gentleman, he associated with a band of spoilt rich boy and got into debt. In his time of distress, he got no one but Joe who he once ignored after coming to London beside him. However, in the end, we see that Pip understood his selfishness and madness. He finally reconciled with Joe and Biddy. He also gave up his dream of becoming a “Gentleman” and works hard and clears his debts.

Miss Havisham is another major character of Great Expectation. She is a wealthy spinster who takes on Pip as a companion for her adopted daughter. She suffered a serious mental blow at her young age. In this novel, we come to know the reason behind her mental illness. She was the daughter of a wealthy country brewer. Being the only child of her father, she was being dotted upon and it spoiled her. She had no idea about reality. She believed in “Fairy Tale love” where the man and woman live happily ever after but the real world was very different. Despite being warned by her cousin, she falls in love with an evil man named “Compeyson” who was after her fortune. She was jilted on her wedding day. It hurt her very much that she always wore her wedding dress. This shock changed her view towards life and the world. She lost her faith on men. She had no love or positive feeling towards the men of the world. In order to exact her revenge on “men” she adopts Estella and trains her in seducing young men and breaking their hearts. She advises Estella, “Break their hearts, my pride and hope, break their hearts and have no mercy!”. Her madness for revenge not only destroyed her life but also Estella’s and Pip’s. If she did not raise Estella as cold then Pip and Estella could fall in love with each other and get married and lived happily ever after. She eventually understood her mistake and asked Pip for forgiveness and committed suicide. Like Pip, love and marriage caused major heartache for Miss Havisham.

Miss Havisham is portrayed in this novel a mentally ill woman. In her whole life, she wants nothing but taking revenge. She adopts or takes Estella as a tool of her revenge. It is sure that she was successful in making Estella cold but it destroyed Estella’s life as well as Pip’s. In this novel, we can see that Estella could never love anyone. She only broke men’s heart. This upbringing was the major cause of her suffering in her married life. She married a person who never loved her and physically tortured her. She got a rich and handsome husband, but her married life was lack of love.

Estella is the love interest of Pip. She is very beautiful and intelligent but love and marriage also caused pain and suffering in her life. She is the daughter of Abel Magwitch, a coarse convict, and Molly, a gypsy girl. In reality, her social position is further lower than that of Pip’s. Estella was adopted by Miss Havisham. She was her weapon of revenge. She trained her to break men’s heart. This upbringing destroyed Estella’s life. She could never understand her true feelings. In Chapter 11, we see that on his second visit, Estella slapped Pip but at the time of leaving the house, she let him kiss on her cheek. It was a very joyful experience for Pip. This very act shows that deep in her heart Estella liked Pip and might have loved him but her upbringing forced her to suppress her true feelings. She even warns Pip that she would never be able to love him. Estella said to Pip,

"Do you want me then", said Estella, turning suddenly with a fixed and    

  serious, if not angry, look, "to deceive and entrap you?"

  Do you deceive and entrap him, Estella?"

  Yes, and many others—all of them but you" (Charles Dickens 334).

In the end, fitting to her upbringing and Miss Havisham’s training, Estella even treats Havisham with coldness and gets married to an abusive noble man named Bentley Drummle. She also explained why she chose to marry such an arrogant person like Drummle. She was raised to torture men and break their hearts, so she chose to marry a man who would torture her. She said,

“As to leading me into what you call this fatal step, Miss Havisham would have had me wait, and not marry yet; but I am tired of the life I have led, which has very few charms for me, and I am willing enough to change it” (Charles Dickens 254).

Her married life was very unhappy as Drummle often beat her. Eventually, her unhappy married life taught her great lesson and she became a changed person. In the end, we see Estella, like Pip, becomes a changed person. She treats Pip with respect.

Love and marriage did not bring happiness in the lives of Pip, Miss Havisham, and Estella but that was not the case always. Joe Gargery and Biddy is an exception in this case. Both these are minor characters in this novel but through them, Dickens showed that the true virtue of love and marriage is also present in the society along with men like Compeyson and Drummle. Joe is a very simple man. He was a blacksmith and led a simple life. Unlike Pip, Joe had no ambition. He was happy in his small world. Mrs. Gargery, to whom Joe was married to, was a quarrelsome and domineering woman. Despite her rough behavior, Joe never treated her badly. Joe was always good to Pip and took care of him when he was ill.

Biddy was an orphan just like Pip but she was very simple and had more common sense than Pip. She was not so beautiful like Estella but what makes us love her was her simplicity and love. Biddy liked Pip but she also knew that Pip was madly in love with Estella. She warned Pip about the consequences of such love. After Mrs. Gargery’s accident, Biddy moves to Joe’s house to take care of the ailing Mrs. Gargery. She worked very hard and took great care. Eventually, Joe and Biddy got married and led a happy conjugal life.